Room 324, Sunday Evening

[vanillajello]

Kate felt weird. As if she... was supposed to feel kind of dizzy, but everything was completely clear instead. With a vague buzzing, somewhere in the background. It was probably shock.

She was just going to run with it, for as long as it lasted. Then collapse. Maybe cry. She wasn't thinking about any of that right now. Someone else was her priority.

And that someone was Bod, who'd been using her as a walking aid on their way up from the lobby.

"So, what do you need?" she asked when they'd made it to her room.

[ooc: For the poor, poor boyfriend.]

Comments

[therewaslife]

"Probably." He was pretty certain of that, in fact. "I don't know what else to say or do. I wish I did."

[vanillajello]

"You don't have to do anything. You're here. That's the best I could hope for today." As sad as that was. She breathed in and out a few times, her nose half pressed against his neck. Her favorite neck in the world. "I love you."

Too tired to hold it back, too tired to panic about it.

[therewaslife]

Whatever he'd been expecting her to say, it wasn't that and, for a moment, he didn't know what to say. His mouth didn't work and his brain was too busy recovering from those three little words.

Bod knew his parents loved him and he suspected Silas and Miss Lupescu did too even if they never said as much. This...was very different and Bod couldn't really identify what he was feeling though he knew it was good. Warm. Comforting. Soothing.

"You..." He sounded surprised but not in any sort of bad way. He just hadn't expected her to say that. "Really?"

[vanillajello]

Kate... just didn't give a damn about not admitting it, right now. She'd spent a good while washing him clean and digging rocks from the bottoms of his feet. She wouldn't have done either for just anyone. She loved him. She was in love with him. End of story.

"Yes," she said, like she was just stating a fact. "Really."

This was not how she would've expected this important relationship moment to happen, but she didn't care about that, either.

[therewaslife]

"No one's ever -- " He stopped and wondered why his throat felt tight and his eyes were all itchy again. He knew he was at a weak spot as far as emotions went so the sudden desire to cry didn't really surprise him.

Bod managed to fight that off but the ragged breathing was still there. He tightened his hold on her some more, trying to find his voice again. It was somewhere, getting buried under terrible mental images and declarations of love that were giving his heart a boost.

[vanillajello]

She tightened her hold on him, too, and then just stayed like that, just listening to him for a moment.

"It's not that horrible," she said quietly after a while, some actual emotion creeping back into her voice. She sounded fond.

[therewaslife]

"It's not horrible at all," he said, sounding absolutely certain about that. "You just surprised me and my heart's beating a little too fast for me to really focus on being coherent."

But he knew it wasn't horrible. He knew what he was feeling wasn't horror. "No one's ever really said that to me."

[vanillajello]

"What a surprise." No, it really wasn't. She kept claiming firsts with him, might as well take this one too. "I hear your heart."

Advantage of her position.

[therewaslife]

"What's my heart saying?" he wondered, quieting down and letting a few uncertain things finally untangle themselves in his mind.

[vanillajello]

"Thu-thump."

Why yes, she was going literal with this one.

[therewaslife]

Bod would have laughed if he'd had that in him but he figured a smile was accomplishment enough tonight. "Kate? Can I ask you a question?"

[vanillajello]

Kate rubbed her cheek against his neck before replying.

"I can't guarantee you'll get an answer, but yes."

[therewaslife]

For some reason, Bod thought he'd get an answer to this question. He hoped he would, at least. It was an important question.

"Am I allowed to love you back?" He was fairly certain he knew the answer to that question. He wanted to ask anyway. He wanted to be different than anyone else.

[vanillajello]

This was one of those moments where under different circumstances she would've laughed, but right now the best she could do was a muffled snort and a tired smile he couldn't see.

"Yes."

[therewaslife]

Admittedly, Bod didn't know what love felt like but he did know what he felt like and what she made him feel. And he did know that love was different for every person, making them feel different. It wasn't the same across the population.

It was easy to know how he felt with her was different and stronger than what he felt with anyone else. It made things better, sharper, and painful (in situations like this). He thought he had his definition right there.

"All right," he said, nodding and kissing the top of her head. "I love you too."

[vanillajello]

Kate hadn't expected how warm actually hearing that made her feel, how much it seemed to soothe some of her tension. And this was about the time she realized no one had ever really told her that either. Not in this context. Not in a way that counted. Ben didn't count. Gene definitely didn't.

... Yeah. She'd thought she and her body had already come to an agreement about being done with crying some time ago. She'd been wrong.

Pointlessly, she tried to hide her tears by pressing her face against his neck again. Because he totally wouldn't feel the wetness. Of course not.

[therewaslife]

It wasn't difficult at all to realize she'd started crying again. Considering they were already close to each other, he couldn't get that closer but he tried. He made sure he was flush against her while still heeding his injuries.

"Why are you crying?" he asked quietly, rubbing her back now. "Kate?"

[vanillajello]

It took her a while to get an answer out, and her voice sounded weak and strangled once she did. "I don't know." She was just trying to make it stop, because it was ridiculous. The sobs, the shudders, all of it.

[therewaslife]

"It's all right," he said, making some further soothing sounds and tracing circles on her back slowly. "You can cry. It's all right."

He'd cried violently against into her neck. She was allowed. "I do love you. I love you. I do."

[vanillajello]

At those words, there were a few stronger sobs. "You're making it worse," she accused, choking out the words.

See? Ridiculous. And she knew it too.

[therewaslife]

"I'm in love with you," he said, ignoring her words just because he wanted her to hear that. He was getting the feeling that she didn't hear this sort of thing all that often too. "I'm yours."

[vanillajello]

Kate let out a frustrated groan and just buried her face in his neck a little more. So, she was just going to cry now, and shake slightly. Fine.

[therewaslife]

Bod didn't say anything else, at least. She knew what he felt and she was crying because of it so he just held her and soothed her as best he could when he was as tired and sore as he was.

[vanillajello]

And kate cried really pretty hard for a while, but eventually, the sobs started coming in further and further apart. Slowly, she calmed down.

She pulled away just enough to awkwardly rub at her eyes, sure they were an absolutely wonderful shade of red by now. "I'm so fucking tired."

[therewaslife]

"Did you want to try and sleep?" Bod asked quietly, keeping her close, red eyes or not. They were probably twins in that regard,