Room 324, Thursday Morning

[vanillajello]

Fire. There's someone on fire. But Kate can't see who it is until the figure turns around and it's her but not her but her and she's standing there and the flames lick up her arms and she's on fire but then it's Mitchell, wild-eyed with a fire inside, and it's Hannibal and the flames go from hot to cold from hot to cold in time with his eyes, and then it's Jack and Emma and Karla and Sebastien and David and Bod and Marshall and Max and Tara --

And then it's Annie, serene calm beautiful Annie like that time in the cellar, and everything stops for a single awful second as she smiles.

And then the flames swallow her up and there's nothing but the fire.

-----

Kate had been very, very glad to not wake up screaming. She had been very glad to wake up, period. Her subconscious was not the place to be right now, her dreams had made that abundantly clear. She'd had no trouble getting out of bed since she'd craved a cold shower to fully wake her up and make sure nothing lingered on.

After the shower, she'd changed her clothes, put on some music, opened the door, made her bed and then flopped down on it with a notebook to make plans for a third floor welcome she wasn't sure she'd even organize.

Saturday wasn't shaping up to be a day to be bubbly and welcoming.

[ooc: Open post, open door. ETA: I would like to call all Mitchell stuff NFB, please and thank you!]

Comments

[vanillajello]

"Ugh, I hate that phrase," Kate replied, making a face at the world at large. "What the fuck is it even supposed to mean?"

[therewaslife]

"It means I sympathize with the fact that you lost someone and I'm here for you should you need it," Bod explained calmly. "It means that I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that you're feeling bad."

[vanillajello]

"Yeah but that's not why most people say it, is it?" Kate asked, trying to distract herself from... everything, with trivialities, and not even noticing she was doing it. "It's just one of those things you're supposed to say. Or that you say just because you have absolutely nothing else to say."

[therewaslife]

"Yes well, I'm not most people and I'm saying it because I sympathize and I'm sorry," Bod said, shaking his head. "I don't know why other people say it. That's not for me to know and it's not important right now."

[vanillajello]

"I wasn't accusing you of anything," Kate clarified, in case that wasn't clear. "I just don't like the words. It's so pointless."

Much like her whole argument.

[therewaslife]

"Then, I apologize for saying them and I'll just stay quiet," he said, still not knowing what to do when she was like this. He could offer comfort and try to talk but it never really seemed to work well.

[vanillajello]

Well, at least he wasn't alone on that. The majority of Kate's friends could confirm she was impossible sometimes. She knew that too.

"Okay," she said, though it sounded like something else. At least she still cuddled up closer to him. "You do that."

[therewaslife]

Bod said nothing in reply. He just fixed his eyes on a spot across her room and sighed, letting her get closer to him and take what she needed.

[vanillajello]

Kate was quiet for a moment as well. She thought about Annie, tried to concentrate on the good.

"You know, she used to make tea," she started, softly. "Cups and cups of tea. It was like a nervous tick, 'cause she couldn't even drink them herself but she kept making them. Used to make George completely batshit."

[therewaslife]

"Mmm." Bod was definitely listening but he still didn't say anything outright in deference to what he'd stated earlier. If she needed to get things out, he could listen, at least. He didn't really trust himself to talk right now.

[vanillajello]

Kate could keep talking by herself, no problem. For a while, anyway.

"Which tended to be kind of hilarious because he's so tightly wound," she continued on. "I think she made all the tea in the house afew times. She made hot chocolate and coffee too. It was good coffee. She used to have it ready when I got up in the morning when I was staying there."

[therewaslife]

Bod smiled briefly, nodding a few times but still staying silent. The ghosts he'd known hadn't been able to do that so it was more evidence that things were different in different places. He sighed quietly.

[vanillajello]

"And she let me sleep in her room," Kate added. "'Cause it's not like she actually slept herself. And she watched me sleeping, that one night after -- that one really rough day."

She sighed too, with a little shudder.

[therewaslife]

She sounded like a good person and Bod was glad Kate had had her for however long she'd known this Annie. He smiled again, sadly, and nodded, keeping quiet while she talked.

[vanillajello]

There was a quiet moment, while Kate shifted a bit and just listened to his heartbeat.

"This is just so fucking unfair," she muttered. "She never did anything wrong, and still she is the one that got fucking exorcized."

[therewaslife]

Bod thought about apologizing again but it hadn't done anything but anger her earlier so he stayed quiet and nodded. It sounded unfair and he was sorry it had happened. Bad things just tended to happen to good people.

[vanillajello]

"I mean, who even does that?" Kate asked, though it was highly rhetorical. She was doing a mighty good job of getting annoyed even without his input. It was a gift. "I thought exorcizing ghosts was a total movie thing. Granted, I used to think ghosts themselves were that too but seriously. Why do that? And why do that to her? Though I guess if they wanted to kill the werewolves and take out the vampires then they might as well take away everyone else as well."

[therewaslife]

Bod had no good answers for her so he didn't say anything at all. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine this ghost, tried to perhaps send some good thoughts her way and hoped that maybe she was somewhere else safe.

It was a small gesture but it was all he had.

[vanillajello]

"When I die I want it to be the end," Kate stated, her voice full of scorn. Anger was so easy to hold on to. "I don't want that to ever happen to me. It's bad enough to get taken from people once."

[therewaslife]

Bod started a bit at that because his views and beliefs were radically different. He looked away and held onto his silence even if his thoughts were whirling. Even if he did want to talk, he didn't trust himself not to argue right now so silence.

[vanillajello]

"I mean, Annie was killed by her fucking fiancé," Kate continued, brow furrowing. "Just a couple of years ago, so... Her family's still out there and she can-- couldn't talk to them, but she got a new one. She got a second chance and people that loved her, and then she was just ripped away from -- us, too." She shook her head. "I would never want to have that happen."

[therewaslife]

Bod disagreed vehemently with her but he couldn't say anything right now. He didn't think she was seeing anything but the bad and trying to convince her right now would be dangerous. Needless to say, he disagreed but was trying not to show it.

He hadn't tensed or twitched or anything. He was just laying there, listening to her talk and frowning every so often.

[vanillajello]

"And I bet this fucking priest guy or whatever," Kate pressed on, "totally thought he was doing the right thing, too. They always do. I know it's easy to think everything supernatural is bad."

Because she'd thought so too. Once.

[therewaslife]

Bod kept his breathing even and steady, listening to her get out what she needed to while he himself kept everything inside. He breathed and watched her and breathed and closed his eyes. He had thoughts on this but he intended them to stay in his head only.

[vanillajello]

"I have to say it, times like this I almost see why Mitchell goes all human hating sometimes," Kate concluded. Then she turned her head to peer up once she finally realized she couldn't remember the last time he'd said anything. "So you're really just not gonna partake in this at all?"