Room 324, Thursday Morning

[vanillajello]

Fire. There's someone on fire. But Kate can't see who it is until the figure turns around and it's her but not her but her and she's standing there and the flames lick up her arms and she's on fire but then it's Mitchell, wild-eyed with a fire inside, and it's Hannibal and the flames go from hot to cold from hot to cold in time with his eyes, and then it's Jack and Emma and Karla and Sebastien and David and Bod and Marshall and Max and Tara --

And then it's Annie, serene calm beautiful Annie like that time in the cellar, and everything stops for a single awful second as she smiles.

And then the flames swallow her up and there's nothing but the fire.

-----

Kate had been very, very glad to not wake up screaming. She had been very glad to wake up, period. Her subconscious was not the place to be right now, her dreams had made that abundantly clear. She'd had no trouble getting out of bed since she'd craved a cold shower to fully wake her up and make sure nothing lingered on.

After the shower, she'd changed her clothes, put on some music, opened the door, made her bed and then flopped down on it with a notebook to make plans for a third floor welcome she wasn't sure she'd even organize.

Saturday wasn't shaping up to be a day to be bubbly and welcoming.

[ooc: Open post, open door. ETA: I would like to call all Mitchell stuff NFB, please and thank you!]

Comments

[therewaslife]

Bod kept his breathing even and steady, listening to her get out what she needed to while he himself kept everything inside. He breathed and watched her and breathed and closed his eyes. He had thoughts on this but he intended them to stay in his head only.

[vanillajello]

"I have to say it, times like this I almost see why Mitchell goes all human hating sometimes," Kate concluded. Then she turned her head to peer up once she finally realized she couldn't remember the last time he'd said anything. "So you're really just not gonna partake in this at all?"

[therewaslife]

Well, he'd made that suggestion and she'd agreed with him so he'd been going along with it. Being asked that now, Bod just shrugged a shoulder. He wanted to be comforting and sympathetic but she'd stirred a few things in him that he didn't want to let loose accidentally.

[vanillajello]

Whereas Kate was starting to feel... well, she wasn't even sure what. It wasn't quite that she wasn't being listened to, but something akin to him just humoring her, though she knew it wasn't that.

"Is this some pointless stubborn thing now?"

[therewaslife]

"Did you seriously just ask me that?" Bod asked, raising an eyebrow. "I said I was going to stay quiet and you agreed with not ten minutes ago. Do not get angry with me."

[vanillajello]

"I'm not getting angry with you," Kate replied, and did sound remarkably calm about it. "I just don't think I thought you'd take it so literally."

Which was stupid because he'd already done it before.

[therewaslife]

"Yes well, you were wrong," Bod said, shaking his head. "Me talking wasn't doing anything good so I elected to stay quiet and let you talk. I listened."

[vanillajello]

"Well I don't think I work very well with that," Kate said, pulling away from him though only because she could actually see him that way without craning her neck. "I mean, I just end up going in circles if no one stops me."

[therewaslife]

"I really don't think I'm the one to hold a conversation with you about what you said," Bod admitted honestly. "I don't agree with a lot of what you said and I don't want to argue."

[vanillajello]

Kate raised an eyebrow at him. "So you're just not gonna talk to me at all while bottling up your own opinions?" she asked. "Gee, that sounds like it won't lead to any trouble ever at all."

[therewaslife]

"I'm really not sure what you'd like me to do, Kate," Bod sighed, rubbing his head again. "I tried to talk to you earlier and it didn't work. I didn't talk and you didn't like that. What would you have me do?"

[vanillajello]

"Maybe not assume I'm gonna argue with you?" Kate suggested, tilting her head. "I know you're gonna disagree, because I know you grew up clloser to this stuff and 'cause you're just different from me. Don't you think I still want to hear what you think? God, it might even distract me from the absolute shittiness of this particular situation."

[therewaslife]

"You always argue," Bod pointed out, shaking his head. "And you feel strongly about this and I don't want to put you through an argument right now. You're still too raw and too sad and I'd just rather not."

[vanillajello]

"Well maybe arguing is the only way I know how to talk," Kate replied, and it was both a little defensive and a little desperate. "Bod, I don't know what to do. You're protecting me from the one thing I would know how to do right now."

Yes, she recognized how messed up that was.

[therewaslife]

"You want to argue with me and possibly start a fight so you'll feel better and I'll possibly feel worse?" Bod asked, shaking his head. "I don't want to do that!"

[vanillajello]

"No!" Kate exclaimed, frowning. "I don't want to make you feel bad, God. I'm not trying to start a fight, really I'm not."

[therewaslife]

"You want me to argue with you!" Bod said, eyes wide. "I don't know what you hope to accomplish with that because arguing with you seriously never makes me feel good."

[vanillajello]

"I don't want to argue!" Ignore how she already was. "Okay? I just wanna feel like we're having a conversation because that whole silent thing... It just makes me feel like I'm alone, but with you."

[therewaslife]

"You agreed with me when I offered to be quiet earlier!" Bod pointed out, shaking his head. "I don't know what you want me to do, Kate. I can't read your mind and I don't want to keep upsetting you like I tend to do when you're upset."

[vanillajello]

"You know you've just decided I'm gonna get more upset," Kate replied, raising her eyebrows. "You do realize that, don't you? You're not even giving me a chance. I mean, what is it that you're so afraid of offending me with? That you find it an okay idea to become a ghost after you die?"

[therewaslife]

"No!" Bod said and shook his head. "I wouldn't have parents if there weren't ghosts. I would've been abandoned and probably killed if there weren't ghosts so hearing you say that you just want to die and just be gone hits me a little harder because I know how bad things could be if that had happened."

[vanillajello]

"Yeah, and I wasn't talking or -- thinking, really, from your world's perspective," Kate pointed out with a concentrated effort on being calm. "Bod, if someone could promise me things in my world work like they do in yours and not like they work in Mitchell's, then I... wouldn't mind it. A community is a different thing than being stuck in a house, alone."

[therewaslife]

"And I know that and that's why I didn't bring it up," Bod replied, shaking his head. "I know things are different but I cannot help how things strike me. I disagreed with you but I'd rather not get into it because the worlds are different and I'd just rather not argue."

[vanillajello]

"I'm not arguing," Kate said, and shook her head. "I'm not saying your point of view is less valid than mine, or trying to convince you to think like me. I'm not even raising my voice."

[therewaslife]

"Perhaps I should go," Bod said, thoroughly embarrassed and confused now. He rubbed at his forehead, trying to get the headache to go away before trying to climb off her bed. "I've caused enough damage and I'm probably going to keep doing that."