Kansas City, MO, Thursday Late Morning

[vanillajello]

Just like things weren't going too well back in Overland Park, they weren't going too well in kansas City, either.

Sure, Lynda and Kate had their fabulous table with the banner and the comics and the handmade PVH action figure and some of Lynda's sketchbooks and a Polaroid camera for the pictures they were selling. But none of that helped if no one was buying anything.

As Lynda had already explained to Kate, she figured it was probably because they'd had to reschedule this. If they'd have been here the previous day like they had planned, then they wouldn't have had to share the store with another, already established fake superhero. Knatasha Knightblade – a beautiful, tall, blonde woman, probably in her late forties, wearing a fantasy-inspired black leather outfit – had people lining up to take pictures with her all the time, whereas Kate and Lynda had not sold a single one. Kate thought it made no sense, and it wasn't fair.

And so, Kate was getting a little whiny.

"I don't understand! Why doesn't anybody want a picture with me? I'm cute, I'm lovable. My shit ain't fifty."

"Is that what you wanna be when you grow up?" Lynda wondered dryly, nodding at Knatasha who was currently waving at some of the people down the line, a winning smile on her face. "A traveling sales rep for Worldwide Punany Incorporated?"

Kate was about to say no (even if some part of her wanted to say yes), but then a couple of nerds wandered to their table. "What are you?"

"She's Princess Valhalla Hawkwind," Lynda replied. Kate turned her charm on, smiling at the guys while pulling her fake hair back from where it covered her chest. Hey, she knew where her assets were.

It wasn't met with much success. More like an unimpresed frown. "What?"

Kate wasn't going to let that get her down yet, though. She played up her cuteness, smiling as adorably as she could. "Wanna take a picture with me?"

It still didn't seem to be working. Not on the guy who was doing the talking, anyway: the other one was definitely staring at her cleavage. "What are your superpowers?" asked the talkative one.

Kate leaned forwards a bit, as if to tell a secret. She evn delivered it in a breathy, sultry voice. "I don't have a vagina." ... Well, she was tired, and desperate to get at least one picture sold. She wasn't exactly thinking straight.

It wasn't like that worked, either. The dude raised an eyebrow. "Let's go to Popeye's and get some chicken," he said to his silent companion, then turned to walk away. His friend stared at Kate a moment more, then followed him.

Kate deflated.

.....

And the day didn't get much better later, either. Their misfortune continued, and to top it all off, Tara showed up, wanting Kate to go home with her. Something about social services. But Kate was so not in the mood.

"Kate, please don't do this, not today, Dad needs us," Tara tried, keeping her voice down while shoving a pile of clothes at her. "Just put these clothes on and let's go."

Kate pressed her helmet more firmly against her wig. "If I was the real Princess Valhalla Hawkwind, I would summon the mighty serpent Karek and send you back to Bandalquaig." Which, really, was her starting to yield, but she was just not the kind of person to go down without a fight.

Lynda wandered back from her visit to the back room just in time. "Ah, maiden's mother returns," she greeted Tara, who offered her a bright smile. "Hey, Lynda!"

"That's me."

"I was thinking about you the whole way over here," Tara started. "I mean, not the whole way, that sounds stalkery." She laughed a little, almost nervously, as Lynda looked on with an intrigued smile. "Occasionally, a thought popped into my head. It was nothing, just --"

Oh, what the hell was all this babbling? Kate frowned up at both of them. "Mom."

But Tara was in the middle of something. "When I saw you in your studio couple of weeks ago, I just... I don't know if Kate told you I'm also an artist?"

"She has," Lynda nodded.

"Well anyway, something about that place just made me... Wow, I am blabbering." Kate thought it was about damn time Tara noticed that. "I'm gonna start over. Hi."

While Lynda gave Tara an amused but friendly smile and said hello, Kate thought it was a good time for her to get up. Maybe she could avoid more embarrassment by giving in and leaving. "Okay," she said, pouting a little at Lynda. "Apparently, I have to leave."

"Yes," Tara agreed with a nod. She threw her keys in the air, then failed to catch them. Kate resisted frowning at her some more. "The princess is needed back at the castle."

Lynda reached to tug a lightly on one of the strands of fake hair in Kate's wig. "Oh, fly away, my pretty," she said, shaking her head. "This happenin' ain't happenin'."

Forlorn, Kate started towards the back room. "This sucks," she muttered. "My lunch isn't even here yet."

.....

There was still one good thing that would come out of this debacle, though. When Kate was in the back, untying the pink things that were attached to her boots, someone else came in. "Is there a Target around here?" a woman's voice asked.

"I don't really know the area," Kate started to answer, but then she looked up at the woman who had spoken. It was none other than Knatasha Knightblade, come to root around her own bag. Kate saw this as an opportunity. "Hey, what are you doing that I'm not doing?" she asked. "You had a huge line all day. I might as well be handing out my own farts."

Knatasha put on her glasses. "Oh, well, yeah, it's hardly ever about the comic books," she said, glancing at Kate.

Ugh. Kate went back to unzipping her boot. "Yeah, I know, sex sells," she muttered. "Blah, blah, blah.

"Well, mock it all you want, sweetheart," Knatasha replied, one eyebrow raised Knatasha Knightblade put two kids through the University of Wisconsin."

... Okay, wow. The woman had Kate's full attention, now.

"Do you have an e-mail list?"

Kate shook her head, already getting ideas. "No."

"You should get an email list," Knatasha nodded. "You know, that way, you have direct access to your revenue stream? I made things easier for myself. I started an online wish list. It's... kind of like a bridal registry. Let’s say you want a dishwasher." This sounded like gold to Kate, even if Knatasha was a bit wry about some of the things that came up next. "So, you go on there, and you... help them get off online, they do what they do, and voilà, your dishes are sparkling clean."

To say Kate was intrigued was a massive understatement. She barely noticed when Knatasha said something about needing her insulin and left. After the woman was gone, Kate went and grabbed a notepad from her bag and wrote 'EMAIL LIST!' on the top of the first page.

And then she took it out into the store.

.....

When Kate finally emerged from the back room in her civilian clothes (though still wearing her princess makeup), Lynda and Tara were still talking. She didn't even know what they were talking about, but she knew she didn't like how friendly they were being.

She was looking predictably sour once she made it to the table again, grabbing her notepad off the table, muttering it was time to go, and meaning it was time for Tara to stop talking to Lynda. Unsurprisingly, her mood didn't get any better once Tara ended up inviting Lynda for a quick visit. Something about borrowing a projector.

And this was evne before the car ride she had to spend listening to the two women yakking on and on about boring art things. Brilliant.

She hoped she'd get to be a little less annoyed at home.

[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC-okay. Part two of three, still taken from USoT S01e07.]