vanillajello | Room 324, Monday After Classes

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Room 324, Monday After Classes

Kate was twitchy. She supposed it was a natural side effect of knowing one of her best friends was pretty much going to walk into his death in a few days, and she was supposed to go... see him off, or something. That was not something she wanted to be dealing with.

So after classes, she'd pulled on her PVH garb, and sat down in front of her computer. This was easy, this was so far removed from everything else going on in her life. She got to talk about the whole Princess Valhalla mythology, and random other stuff too. In fact, she was just in the middle of a good rant about the latest season of one of her favorite trashy shows when the guy on the screen (fourth_mister, again) interrupted her.

"Uh, I'm sorry but... I don't actually watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey."

Kate blinked, a little taken aback. "Oh," she said. "I... thought you said I could talk about whatever I wanted."

"I did!" the guy assured her hastily, and gave her a smile. "But now I wanna do something else."

Well. This was unexpected, but she supposed she was game. At least to find out what it was he wanted to do. "... Okay. What?" If it involved her taking her clothes off, she was so not doing it.

"Do you have any cake?"

What? Kate laughed, just because that went way over her head. "Cake?" she repeated, then sobered up some, because she really had no idea where this was going. "Why?"

"Um... I was hoping you could, um..." He swallowed. "Sit on it?"

Uhh. Kate didn't even know what to say to that. After a moment of hesitation, she told him she didn't really have the means to fulfill his request at the moment, but that she'd think about it, and then she announced she had to go, and ended the chat.

With a sigh, Kate started changing out of the costume into some regular clothes, her mind buzzing with several different kinds of things all at once.

[ooc: Door is closed, post is open! The contents of the conversation under the cut are NFB, please and thank you. Taken again from UsoT S02E08.]

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"Why did you ask me that?" He knew he wouldn't get an answer but a question like hers didn't just crop up from random curiosity. "Why did you want to know that?"

"Random curiousity." Yes, she knew that probably wasn't going to convince him. Wasn't going to stop her from trying, though. "Just... saw a vampire movie the other night."

She hadn't watched a single vampire movie in over a year.

Yes, he knew he was being lied to now and he found that didn't help the anxiety, worry and tension that was building up inside him. He didn't say anything though. It was a struggle but he bit down on the anger and just stared at her.

Kate really didn't like being stared at. Not when it was him, not when she knew exactly why it was happening. She'd screwed up.

"What?"

She... probably shouldn't have asked. But she couldn't help herself, couldn't keep from pretending.

"There was no reason to lie to me like you just did," Bod said, still sounding shell shocked by everything. "I figured you wouldn't tell me but you didn't have to lie. That was just hurtful."

Bod could add it to the list today, he supposed.

"You cannot ask me a question like that and expect me to just blindly believe it's curiosity. And you really can't expect me to believe everything's going to be fine when you leave again."

"I've only said everything's going to be fine eventually," Kate tried, really focusing on not just snapping at him even though that would've been easier. "No, what's gonna happen in two days is most definitely not going to be fine. But after it things might get better."

Bod got even tenser, not really understanding why she was using semantics against him when this particular situation was not his fault. Not this time.

"And you've told me not to worry previously," he reminded her, eyes wide with some fear now. "Stop lying to me. Just stop. You won't tell me anything, I get that, but you don't need to lie."

"I'm not lying," Kate snapped, then caught herself, frowning. She shook her head, still almost a little angrily. "Okay so I lied about the stupid movie, and I'm sorry. But you seriously don't have to worry about me. It's not me who's gonna be doing stupid shit. I'm not lying about that."

"I don't care, I'm going to worry about you. I was here when you came back last time, remember," Bod replied firmly. "You can't tell me not to do that and if you do, you're being incredibly hypocritical. You can't just ask me questions like that and expect me to forget it."

"I'm not telling you not to worry about me, God." She pulled away from him now, a little, hands on her hips. "I'm just telling you there's no real need. Not like I'm ordering you not to worry."

"I think I'm going to go," Bod said, shaking his head because she didn't understand. She just didn't. And he didn't want to end up crying while trying to explain it to her.

"Good luck with your trip," he said, pushing away from the door. "And happy Thanksgiving too. I know that's coming up."

Kate really, really shouldn't have been surprised. She knew that. And yet.

"Bod, come on," she tried, but it was weak.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "You're getting angry at me for saying I'm going to worry and you keep telling me I shouldn't when you know I saw what you were like last time and yet, you got angry at me for not letting you do the same thing previously."

He shook his head again and didn't look at her.

"No. This isn't fair to me. This isn't my fault."

For once, he wasn't going to try and take blame. For once.

Kate was looking at him. As much as she would've maybe wanted not to be. "I got angry at you for calling me a liar." Which, okay, hadn't been an entirely unfair assessment. "And last time? I'd just spent three days at a hospital totally unsure whether my best friend was gonna make it out of there, so of course I was fucking wrecked. That happens, okay? You know that."

"And now you're going back, Kate!" Bod said, coming as close to a shout as he ever did. "And I'm really terrified that I might not see you again. You're not acting right, you're not telling me much and what you are telling me isn't good."

Agitated, he tried to pull into himself, make himself a smaller target for whatever.

"You asked me a question about a practice I do know about so I know it can go wrong so now I can't help but wonder what you're going to do," he said, frowning. "Last time wasn't good and you were just an observer. Can you blame me for this? Can you honestly tell me you'd feel different if our positions were reversed?"

"Jesus, Bod, I'm not trying to blame you for anything!" Kate replied, exasperated. "And I didn't ask about... that thing because I'm going to do it, I asked because I already alm--"

Here she stopped herself, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. She shook her head.

"Ugh, whatever. You wanna know why I'm going again? Because my best friend asked me to come wish him good luck when he's about to go do something completely insane. And you wanna know what totally dangerous things I'm going to do? I am gonna yell at him, and at our friends, and then I'm probably gonna cry because there's nothing I can do to stop him. That's what I'm gonna do."

Edited 2010-11-23 18:01 (UTC)

Bod stared at her again, completely taken aback and really did reach for the door this time. He was going because she hadn't heard a word he'd just said. Not a word.

"Good luck with your trip," he said, trying not to sound as upset as he was. "Next time, though, after I share a very real fear of not seeing you again, maybe you could try to be slightly more sympathetic because that just...wasn't."

He shook his head. "I shared with you what I'm feeling. You got angry. Good luck with your trip."

And at that, Kate pulled back into her shell. She didn't think he'd really heard her either, so this was getting to be a little pointless, and just generally too much right now. For both of them.

"I have no idea what it is that you wanted from me," she said, then shrugged. "But, bye, I guess. Later."

"I don't want anything from you, Kate," Bod said, shaking his head. "I want you. I want you to come back. That's what I want. And I didn't want you to run down a list of facts to tell me that. I just wanted you to tell me you'd come back. That's all."

Bod looked at her, knuckles turning white with how tight he was holding the door. "I don't want facts or a list. I just want you to tell me I'll see you again. If you get hurt, that hurts me and I'm not into that idea."

Her words were still very fresh in his mind from that day.

"I understand your friend's important to you but I don't know him. I know you and you're the one that I'm worried about. Knowing the facts, that just doesn't make me less afraid. Worried."

"Of course I'm going to come back," Kate replied, frowning even if her tone softened some again. "Sorry if I find that too obvious or something."

Mostly because she didn't like dwelling on the alternative, but she really did think she wasn't going to be doing anything dangerous just by going to Bristol. Mitchell wouldn't have asked her if that had been the case.

Bod shrugged and didn't apologize for the question. He'd felt it was important to ask and important to know. He had no idea what she was about to do and she'd asked him about letting a vampire feed.

He kept holding onto her door, eyes on the floor but hadn't moved any further out. Her reassurance was what he'd wanted to hear but he still felt scraped raw.

Kate watched him quietly for a moment, then said, "You can go if you want to." Her tone was mild. Sure, she never really liked it when he went away, but on the other hand she had no idea what they'd do if he stayed.

"I don't know," he said and rubbed the heel of his hand over his eye, still waffling on what he wanted to do. One part wanted to leave desperately and another part didn't.

Kate shrugged a shoulder, still watching him. "Well I don't know either."

"You know what, I do know," he said, finding some resolve and looking over at her. He stepped inside the room and shut the door. "I'll leave but I have to tell you something first. I don't think you realize it either. Maybe you need to hear it."

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