Kate Gregson (
vanillajello) wrote2011-02-12 07:09 pm
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Room 324, Saturday Morning
Kate had... kind of intended to spend the night alone. That had been the original plan, at least, before a miniature freakout and being a fabulous fake and having to stand the sight of Caroline and ugh. Yet another plan of Kate's that had not gone quite as she'd originally thought it would.
She'd figure out how she felt about that later, maybe. Because right now she was still asleep, clinging to Nathan with an arm and a leg over him, pressed close against him despite the blankets spread over them. That was just her thing, minor neediness slipping out when she wasn't conscious enough to control it. It was a lot like another morning a month or so ago, probably, except they were presently decidedly more lacking in clothes and knew each other better in whole new ways.
And Fandom was being Fandom again, but that was not for them to know yet. They'd find out soon enough.
[ooc: Just for that one guy, and for that other smaller guy who'll cause a whole lot of emo despite being adorbs, and then probably that third guy with some more emo.]
She'd figure out how she felt about that later, maybe. Because right now she was still asleep, clinging to Nathan with an arm and a leg over him, pressed close against him despite the blankets spread over them. That was just her thing, minor neediness slipping out when she wasn't conscious enough to control it. It was a lot like another morning a month or so ago, probably, except they were presently decidedly more lacking in clothes and knew each other better in whole new ways.
And Fandom was being Fandom again, but that was not for them to know yet. They'd find out soon enough.
[ooc: Just for that one guy, and for that other smaller guy who'll cause a whole lot of emo despite being adorbs, and then probably that third guy with some more emo.]
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"You know what I meant," she said, mildly, instead.
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That was a little sarcastic and he closed his eyes and shook his head. "I apologize. I'm just overwhelmed right now."
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Not actually looking at him right now probably made her a hypocrite, yeah.
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Oh look, someone's irritation at other stuff was slipping out.
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"You should tell your little ladyfriend to stop trying to play friends with me."
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Okay, deep breaths. Wasn't this exactly what she'd been trying so hard to avoid? She wrapped her arms around herself, tried to get back to some rational line of thinking but it was hard because there was nothing rational about how she felt around him.
"So what do we do?"
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He bowed his head and sniffed a few times, forgetting to answer her because, well, he didn't want his voice to sound bad.
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"Right," she muttered in the general direction of her feet. "Extremely helpful."
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"I'm sorry, Kate, it's a little hard for me to be helpful after you've so bluntly admitted that a child of mine could ruin your weekend so thoroughly," he said, thankfully still sounding calm. "And I really don't want to hear an excuse because that's what you meant and we both know it. Forgive me but I'm trying despite feeling really quite awful right now."
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"I didn't say a child of yours did that. I said you did." To her, that wasn't an excuse, that was accuracy. She also knew it wasn't a nice thing to say, but then she wasn't feeling particularly good or nice either. "I didn't say he did. He-- he's fucking perfect. Don't put words in my mouth."
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He didn't understand. Of course he didn't.
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He stopped his words and looked down again. "When you look at me, I feel like a monster. And it's awful and sad. I tried so hard to get away from that and now...it's constant."
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"That is not my fault," she said then, a little quieter, hating the way her voice tried to break on the last syllable. "You are not a monster, and you never have been, and it is not my fault if you think that. It's not. You can't pin that on me."
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