Overland Park, KS, A Morning in May [Wednesday Fandom Time]

[vanillajello]

The stupid thing about going to Kansas was that time was much slower. Kate was painfully aware that while she'd already been gone from Fandom over two days, it had barely been 18 hours for her. Still, after a night at home, she was just about starting to feel a little less raw. The general nausea had abated, at least, as had the panic.

The guilt, however irrational she knew it to be, would probably stay for a while.

Stretching out on her bed, Kate reached to get her phone from the nightstand, then turned it on. For a moment, she thought about making a call – to Bod, to Jack, to Mitchell, to Hannibal, to anyone – but she decided against it, unable to really decide what it was she wanted to say to any one of them. (Except maybe Hannibal. There was a certain amount of I get it now present.) She put the phone down on the bed next to her.

She'd be available now; that'd have to be enough.

[ooc: NFB, but open for phone calls and texts! Whoo, taking advantage of my 1,5 days at home.]

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[therewaslife]

"I missed you," he murmured quietly, pressing his cheek against hers and sighing. "Are you sure you're all right? You can be honest with me, Kate. I love you. I'm not afraid of you and I want to help."

[vanillajello]

"I'm pretty fucking rattled," Kate whispered, watching the street over his shoulder for... anyone, really. She knew she should've gotten them inside the house, maybe up to her room, but she didn't want to let go of him just yet. "Don't suppose that means I'm all right."

[therewaslife]

"It's understandable," he assured her, still rubbing her back and keeping her close to him. "I can only imagine how it felt to wake up on Monday. It wasn't you, I know you know that but I know it doesn't matter. We'll get through this. I'm not going anywhere."

[vanillajello]

For a moment, Kate let her eyes close while she just soaked up his presence without saying a word.

And then she opened her eyes again, and tried to gently pull away, enough to see his face. "Would you like to come inside?"

Which was a stupid question but she was feeling a little stupid.

[therewaslife]

"I would," Bod said, reaching to brush his fingers over the tear tracks on her cheeks. "Yes, please."

[vanillajello]

Kate bowed her head when he did that, and caught his hand in one of hers so she could then turn and lead him into the house. "Come on."

The last thing they needed was Ted or someone spotting them right now.

[therewaslife]

Bod followed her inside and made sure to shut the door behind him as he did. It was instinctive to glance around her house to notice any differences but it had looked a lot different when he'd last been year after the tornado had blown through.

He gave her hand a squeeze and stayed quiet, letting her do what she needed to do to feel at ease and comfortable now that he was there.

[vanillajello]

The house was as it usually was. Less tornado-y, more just generally lived in. No one else was in, so it was quiet, too.

Kate had already started them towards the stairs when she remembered something, and turned to look at him over her shoulder. "Oh, do you want a drink? Something to eat?"

It was weird to have him visiting when she hadn't come with her, okay? It brought out the well-hidden Alice in her.

[therewaslife]

"No, thank you," Bod said, shaking his head. "I ate before I arrived and I'm not thirsty. So, I'm fine. Let's go upstairs."

[vanillajello]

"Okay, good." She nodded, and turned towards the stairs again, tugging him along with her. "Just thought I'd check. Random hostess instincts."

[therewaslife]

"I understand. Thank you for asking," he replied, smiling at her back while he followed her. "You're a good hostess, Kate."

[vanillajello]

"I'm really not," Kate snorted as they were going past some family pictures (Tara and Max together, childhood pictures of Kate and her brother) on the wall. "It's just a side effect of being messed up."

[therewaslife]

"We're all messed up in our own special ways," Bod said, giving those pictures a smile as he passed. Little Kate had been so adorable. Kate now was lovely and beautiful but she'd been adorable as a child.

[vanillajello]

"Yeah, and mine are just a little more specail right now," Kate drawled, though it wasn't unkind. Mostly she was trying to reach for 'wryly amused', without quite succeeding.

[therewaslife]

"We'll get through them," Bod assured her, giving her had another squeeze. "I'll do whatever you need me to do to help and if you don't need me at all, I'm still not going anywhere."

[vanillajello]

"I know," she replied as they reached the top of the stairs and headed for the door that had her name on it. "You're like that."

[therewaslife]

Bod was going to take that as a good thing so he just smiled and fell quiet again while they got closer to and eventually went inside her room. Today, hew as there for her and only her.

[vanillajello]

There were a few cardboard boxes half full of stuff on the floor of her room: other than that, it was the same as ever, the same as it had been since she'd actually been living here.

She let go of his hand to close the door, and then to go pick up her phone of the bed to put it somewhere else.

[therewaslife]

Bod watched her carefully, looking for signs of tension or pain or anything else she might be feeling after her traumatic weekend.

"Tell me what you need from me," he said quietly. "I'm here for you."

[vanillajello]

Kate's injuries had thankfully gone away with her wrong, too-young body. The tensions remained, though, in their usual places in her back and shoulders.

She put her phone down on her bed stand, then straightened up again and shrugged, a little helpless. "I don't know, Bod."

[therewaslife]

"What about what you want?" Bod asked, stepping closer to her carefully. "Is there something you want? It's just us here and we're safe. We're alone. It's just you and I."

[vanillajello]

"I want you," she replied, pouting at him a bit though it was aimed at her own general confusion. "I just don't know what that entails."

[therewaslife]

"I'm here," Bod murmured, stepping close enough and cradling her face with his hands. "You have me. Does it have to be more than me holding you and you relaxing?"

[vanillajello]

"I don't know, can you make me relax?" Kate wondered quietly, putting her hands over his. "'Cause apart from passing out last night, it hasn't been happening much."

[therewaslife]

"I'm sure I can try," he said, stroking his cheeks along her skin. "There are many ways to achieve relaxation even when someone's very stressed. I probably know...one or two ways."